Hi Friends,

How are we all? Hope you are all doing mighty well Preview

Most of you may know that I have been teaching young students for a majority of the last 7 to 12 months. The experience has been so rewarding. The thought of being able to share your knowledge and make a big contribution to someone else’s learning and development is just truly AWESOME. In saying that, I believe that I have been getting just as much value as my students have been getting. When we teach or share a story/experience, we are often re-teaching ourselves valuable lessons. Here’s what I mean…(Sharing valuable lesson)

When we go through school and or any type of formal education, there’s a lot of us who often neglect the true essence and lessons that school and the formal education system is giving us (I was one of them). Lets take a closer look at some of the main subjects they teach in schools and compare them to the lessons outside in life such as sports, communication, physical fitness, building a business, driving, cooking, dancing, playing games. Put aside the difference in content you are looking to acquire. What is the common factor to succeed in any of these areas? I’ve learned and come to believe that 80% of it is a psychological game. Now the other 20% is the mechanics – YOUR SKILL LEVEL! TAAAAAA DAAAAAA!!

So lets get into this a little more – well the mechanical side for NOW. Have you ever wondered why some students excel faster in the classroom; WHY one person sucks at cooking while someone else can cook very well. Why some people just absolutely suck at playing a sport while others go onto achieve fantastic sporting accolades; Why someone can speak in front of thousands and thousands of people while others struggle to get up in front of 2 people; Why someone sucks at sales compared to someone who understands the importance of building relationships – and absolutely making a killing. Why some people keep going broke and financially struggling while others accumulate endless wealth. Why some people are fighting and looking fit and muscular while others struggle to get onto their feet each day. Yes, well you ladies and gents see the picture right? One of the common differences that these two types of individuals have is NOT DEPENDENT on one being more better off than another but simply their skill level. Lets take a look at the following case study.

Just like the games we play, what separates the ones doing very well to the ones not doing so well is the amount of skills one possesses in that one area. My younger brother thrashes me when we go 1on1 UFC, FIFA or any Playstation game (Mainly because he gets lucky JOKES ) because he has taken the time to develop his skills in those games. An interesting observation I picked up with my brother and most kids is:

1. When they first buy and play a game – they usually suck and don’t do so well. Lots of frustrating periods where you can hear all sorts of insanities being screamed out. I used to do the same.
2. Over time, after a fair bit of practice and constantly playing the same game AND HANGING WITH THE PROS, they’ve learnt a few tricks and SKILLS and start to enjoy the game a little more
3. Over time their satisfaction levels are quite high, they grow quite cocky AND kicking everybody’s ass! Out of my way suckers.
4. They need a new challenge or challenger because they are getting BORED. They look for something or someone else that is more CHALLENGING. What they don’t notice is that the foundation has been set to go onto conquer harder games.

Take a look at that observation and we can start to compare how this can be the door to many opportunities. When we apply the same strategy and goals towards building our skill levels in the different areas of our life, we will more than often see and experience changes, results and breakthroughs.

I’ll share with you some of my own experiences and I would love to hear from you about yours as well:

• Playing sports and working out really keeps me on the edge. There’s a number of sports that I am quite competitive and enjoy playing. I’ll share with you a stubborn experience when younger.  I remember being a little bratty kid who wouldn’t settle for a bad result. Losing was OK because it taught me a lot about myself but I knew I could get better. I clearly remember getting thrashed by my friend in 6^th grade (Something like 6 – Luv) during a tennis tournament when we were being coached. What would happen following those losses will always stick by me. There would be endless afternoons where I would be pulling out my racquet and hitting up a tennis ball against the roller shutter garage door in the front yard. YES, VERY UNORTHODOX! The unpredictability when the ball hits a certain curve in the door would have me running frantically to ensure that the ball does not bounce more than once. This would go on for HOURS. Oh the memories – my dad and neighbours went insane every time I did this. It paid off though because after a few weeks of doing that I went back on court to kick some BUTT! Skill ACQUIRED and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I would apply the same strategy and stubbornness to succeed with other sports until I was one of the best on the court or field.
• Public speaking (still is at times) always was an area I struggled with throughout my high school and younger years. In fact, speaking in general was a VERY tough gig for me. WHY? I stuttered my way through each and every year. That’s right – SERIOUS STT-T-T-T-U-T-T-ERR-ER. Yes, mentally it was quite tough a lot of the times. It was very embarrassing at times and I remember asking this girl I liked out in Year 8 (which I still get teased about “wwwwww-www-willlllll y-yooooouuuuu G-G Goo Out W-w-W Withhh Me hahah LOL) and lol.. lets just stop there! Haha J For me to personally speak and share this openly is a breakthrough in itself.

A lot of people I speak to nowadays probably wouldn’t have even guessed that I had a severe case of stuttering. Here’s the truth, I started being RESOURCEFUL and did some research to discover RESOURCES about how to mend my stuttering speech. I was only 17 at the time. However that didn’t stop me from going out there to explore resources and attending a lot of stuttering speech workshops such as Woodstock (Burwood). I was usually the youngest person in the group. A lot of them were in their late 50s – 70s. A lot of them admitted to me that they made the big mistake of leaving it too late to find a fix. They pushed, encouraged and inspired me to keep practicing what I learnt there – and THAT’S WHAT I DID! Hanging around supportive people definitely helps you to get to where you want to be. I practiced and practiced and PRACTICED until I started seeing some changes. The skill I learned here was HOW to control my MIND when I knew I was close to a stutter.

It didn’t matter to me whether people laughed at me really. I’d just laugh along because I thought it was quite funny myself – that’s just me! People wonder why I commit to a lot of weird breathing, meditating and yoga exercises. Meditating, breathing and yoga exercises not only developed my fluency in speaking skills. It also boosted my confidence and allowed me to take on public speaking – eventually got better at it through presentations at university. Who knew that I would be teaching and sharing my experiences with people today. These exercises have helped me to GAIN and REWARD me with SKILLS such as breathing properly, meditating and yoga exercises. Feel blessed!

Oh and some awesome FACTS just to share: List of famous stutterers include: Sir Richard Branson (Really admire and look up to him), Bruce Willis, Anthony Hopkins, Winston Churchill,  Rowan Atkinson, Marilyn Munroe, Samuel L Jackson, Julia Roberts, Tiger Woods, Elvis Presley and Kylie Minogue and many more. It’s definitely motivated and helped me to aspire to be just like these people and how I can create a legacy for giving back to others.

• The skill of apathy (thanks to good buddy Danny Le for bringing this to light) – The skill I’ve learnt here is to BOUNCE OFF ADVERSITY when it presents itself. Often we get bumped over or laughed at for some of the ideas or plans we have for ourselves. There’s been many cases in the past where I’ve been told to live within my means or don’t dream too big– “we don’t want you to be disappointed if it doesn’t work out”. Couldn’t live by this because I believed that there’s a purpose and calling for all of us. I developed the skill to listen to people and use their words to prove to myself that I can go the extra mile and go for what I believe to work well. It’s serving me well up to this day. There’s nothing right or wrong about what people share. I’ve definitely learnt to trust in my own ability, skills and instincts. We need to all do the same.
  
• The skill to smile when things don’t always go my way. Smiling with persistence has been a skill that I’ve committed to practicing. It’s paid off many times. A lot of us don’t smile enough. It’s the cheapest type of medicine and can definitely pay dividends immediately. Smiling is contagious. I make it a habit to smile to everyone I come across. It’s been a ritual since a very young age so nowadays it almost comes quite naturally.

There’s been a lot of times throughout my young life where it has been quite tough. Now this isn’t an opportunity for me to sulk and I’m not about to get there. Everyone has been through their fair share. I’ve reached a point where I am grateful to share my experiences because I know that someone and even a lot of people may come across this post one day and it could make the world of difference. I acknowledge that everyone’s problems in life are unique to them. I also acknowledge that these moments are just hurdles for us to jump over. Once we do jump over it there’s another hurdle awaiting you on the other side. This skill has served me well and I’m always ready to keep moving along.
These are some of the skills that have given me the foundation to take on bigger challenges and develop further skills. There is still plenty of room for learning and development. I encourage you all to open yourself to lifelong learning and building your skills. A lot of us don’t enjoy doing things that we are not good at or do not possess skills for. This has been a common observation that I’ve seen when my students aren’t enjoying a topic they are learning – it’s not because they can’t do it, it’s because they DON’T KNOW IT. With lots of practice and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you will start to see results and breakthroughs. Make it a ritual to fine tune your skills. It will definitely mould you into an individual of VALUE. Just like Maths, English, Driving and Cooking – NEW skills can ALL be learned. Be resourceful with the resources that you have in front of you to develop your skills because you are going to be using them to solve bigger problems and take on greater challenges. Be aware of the foundation that you have set yourself and use it to serve others.

Special mentions to my friend Gina Carre for inspiring me to have the courage to share my own story. Check out her new blog and latest posts at Gina’s Blog. We  would love to hear from the rest of you.

P.S – Here’s a promise, if I get at least 10 people to share some of the skills they have acquired while going through their own trials and triumphs, I will do my best to find one of my STUTTERING VIDEOS in the archives and put  together a brand spanking new video of how far I’ve come since my stuttering days. Please share in the comment section below.

Thanks for all the supporters in my life thus far. You guys know who you are.

You guys are freaking awesome.

Alan Vilaykoun